Just Harry
by PhoenixMirror27414
Summary: Harry Potter spends his nights making potions, trying to live up to everyone's expectations. He spends his days exhausted, struggling to make sense of his life and his friends. Things were so simple weren't they? Too bad a student has taken a sudden interest in the boy who lived, now Harry is struggling to make sense of things, he just wants to be Harry. Just Harry. Dursley-abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Harry frowned as he added four horned slugs to his potion. With bated breath he waited to see if it had failed yet again, it hissed and turned a repugnant green. With a short cry of frustration the sixteen-year-old boy kicked the wall, it was always at this point when his Swelling Solution - a second year potion - failed.

He wanted to ask Snape why it was, the potion usually bubbled softly for everyone else. He could feel the tempo increasing and knew he should add the horned slugs before the ten minutes were up, but the last time he'd attempted that he'd had a severe lecture from Snape and a detention to go with it. Wrinkling his nose against the smell of rotten eggs, he vanished the useless mess.

Resigning himself to the fact that he had failed again, he started over. He had been doing this for the past few months, every night he'd lug his potions equipment and textbooks down to an empty room as far away from people as possible, he knew that no one ever came down here because it was one of the Bloody Baron's favourite places to lurk.

He carefully lined up two bat spleens and cut them so they were the same length, the book didn't say that they had to be any _certain _length, which Harry thought was a serious flaw, he'd spent weeks working out that he got further into the potion when they were cut to two inches, it always ended up green though, but it lasted longer this way.

Once they were exact he lay them on a clean dish away from all other ingredients and picked up the bottle of Salamander Blood. He poured one 100ml into the cauldron and added the bat spleens.

"20ml of Wormwood Essence, 60ml of Lobalug Venom." He muttered quietly as he added the ingredients. "Now wait ten minutes exactly."

He set the little timer and sat back holding his textbook for potions. Between almost every page there was a piece of parchment with various comments and measurements, he found that these helped him, but they never saw him through to the end of a successful potion.

Nobody knew that he came down here every night, not even Ron and Hermione. He was surprised that they hadn't realised, especially since he had been so tired lately, he only made it to bed at two in the morning. Sometimes he felt bitter about it, but then he would remind himself that he had purposefully not told them, how could he blame them?

Or maybe they thought he was stressed because he had a mad man trying to kill him, they would be horrified if they knew he went to the most deserted place he could find every night. Harry did not mind that it was so deserted, in fact, he rather liked it. He practised brewing potions and on the ones that required a lengthy time of brewing with no added ingredients, he could do some homework.

The timer buzzed and he jumped up, immediately cancelling the heating charms on the cauldron. _Let it cool down unaided, _he reminded himself. Some potions required rapid cooling, but with the Swelling Solution it was absolutely vital that the potion cooled without the aid of magic or any other means. This could take up to half-an-hour. At first this had bored Harry, but after the first week he had accepted that he needed to be patient while brewing.

With practiced patience he carefully read through a book he had borrowed from the library, _1001 Potion Brewing Techniques. _It was proving to be a rather interesting read. The only drawback was it was aimed at adults not sixteen-year-old boys, so he had to look up a lot of the more complex words.

He wished that Snape didn't hate him so much, he wanted someone who could help him with this, not yell at him in every single lesson as he botched up his potions. He wished that one of his other professors had some knowledge to do with potions. Most of all he wished that his mum was still alive, she would have taught him everything she knew.

Lily Potter had been quite the brewer, he'd been told, she had studied potions at NEWT level and passed with an O. He sometimes dreamed of what his life would have been like, if they'd been alive. His dad would have showed him how to fly, they would have played quidditch every night in their back garden, then his mum would have called them in for tea, laughing at the mud on Harry's knees and demanding he washed up before eating. Then they'd eat together talking all about their day, Lily would end the night telling Harry about various potions and ingredients. At the end of the holidays they would kiss Harry on the cheeks and wave him off as he boarded the train to Hogwarts.

Harry was jolted out of his thoughts by the buzz of the thermometer indicating that the potion was now at room temperature. _Stir three times clockwise, twice anticlockwise, add one bottle of Leech Juice. _Leech juice could only ever be bought in 50ml bottles, unless it was a bulk order by a potions master, and Harry was _not _a potions master.

"Then wait ten minutes, _again_." Harry sighed. This was the crucial point, he was going to add the horned slugs earlier than ten minutes, when he felt the potion begin to increase in tempo. He prayed that this wouldn't backfire, that the potion wouldn't blow up in his face.

Harry chose four horned slugs that were reasonably the same size and made a small incision in their backs, this was to allow the blood to mix with the potion. Five minutes had passed. He waited a little longer, the potion's rhythm was changing, before he could change his mind, Harry let the horned slugs fall into the gloopy mess.

He held his breath.

With a soft _tsss_ the potion turned pale blue.

"Yes!" He shouted.

He pulled a Deflating Draught out of his bag, he had bought it and had it delivered from the apothecary, so he knew it worked. He filled a vial with some of the Swelling solution and took a calming breath, this was the moment that would count.

He poured the pale blue liquid onto his arm, it rapidly and painlessly swelled instantly. With a wide grin he administered the Deflating Draught and watched his arm return to normal.

He had done it. He had actually brewed the potion.

With a happy smile, he wrote _six and a half minutes _on the parchment next to the page which held the recipe. One question still puzzled him, why could other people make the potion work with the ordinary recipe? He pushed his hair out of his eyes and yawned.

_Clang _

Harry froze. It was half past one in the morning, if he was found here he would be in a lot of trouble. There was no way he would be able to pack up all his homework and potions equipment before whoever that was came in and saw him. He couldn't hide either, they could steal his stuff and then people would know he'd been there after it was all gone.

Maybe the person wouldn't come down to this room, so long as he kept quiet he might just be alright. Silently he started pooling all his homework and various sheets of paper together into a pile that was quietly shoved into his school bag followed by various potions ingredients. He glanced over his shoulder at the door, so far he was still alone.

He frowned, he was going to have to speak for the next part.

"Evanesco." He spoke as quietly as he could without affecting the spell, the solution vanished from the cauldron. What now? He couldn't walk out there in case someone was still there.

_Thud_

Harry held his breath, whoever was out there was getting closer, not further away. Perhaps it was the Bloody Baron, lurking around the school, trying to inflict terror on any first years who were out of bed so late. He sat down at the table resting his head on his arms, he would have to wait this out.

His eyes drifted shut and refused to open. _A few minutes can't hurt..._

* * *

**AN**

**I do not own Harry Potter or anything that can be reconised from the series. It all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling.**

**What pairing do you want? I'm thinking maybe DracoxHarry?**


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing that Harry became aware of was the freezing cold air that surrounded him, the cold had managed to seep through his clothes and chill his bones, every breath he took left white clouds in front of his face and hurt his lung with the sheer temperature of the air. The second thing Harry noticed was the blinding pain in his back, perhaps it wasn't a good idea to spend the night sleeping hunched over an old desk.

He groaned and let his forehead hit the desk once more. Hermione and Ron would be worried, if they'd noticed his absence, but Harry was more worried about something completely different, hopefully he would be in time for breakfast. His stomach was making sure that he didn't forget just how hungry he was.

He stood and stretched, feeling his back click painfully, _ouch, _he'd be feeling that for a few days. Thank Merlin he was quidditch captain and could make sure tomorrow's practice wasn't to vigorous.

Harry gathered all his stuff together and headed back towards Gryffindor common room, the corridors were empty, the silence that filled the corridors unnerved Harry. He was either very late and had missed breakfast and was late for class, or he was very early and everyone was either still sleeping or at breakfast. Then again something might have happened, something to warrant the complete evacuation of Hogwarts. _Don't be ridiculous, _he chided himself.

What could warrant the evacuation of the whole school? A death eater attack? No, he would have heard something. Pulling himself away from his ridiculous thoughts he muttered the password to the portrait outside the Gryffindor common room, it swung open.

He ran up the stairs to his room and sighed in relief, all his friends were still completely knocked out. He threw his bag and cauldron under his bed and pulled off his shoes and socks.

The bed was cold and made a shiver run up his spine, he was freezing still. He turned over and punched his pillow into a more comfortable position, maybe he would be able to get a few hours before Ron woke him up for breakfast.

He welcomed the blissful darkness and fell into a deep slumber.

"Wake...Harry!" Harry pulled his pillow over his head and tried to block out the persistent voice.

"Harry, you're going to miss breakfast, get up!"

He was hungry, but he was more tired, maybe he could skip breakfast and sleep a little bit longer.

"Honestly, Ronald, you know how to get him up." No, not Hermione!

The lovely, warm covers were ripped away from Harry and the pillows pulled out from under his head.

"One of these days, I will have gone to bed starkers." Harry said glowering at his bushy haired friend, she just petted his messy hair.

"It would be better than sleeping in your clothes," she said sternly. "Honestly, Harry, you need to take better care of yourself, you're letting all this stress get to you. Now go take a shower and meet us in the common room in ten minutes for breakfast."

She handed him a pile, that included a towel and his clothes. He gaped at her then blushed brightly.

"You were in m-my underwear drawer?" He stammered.

Hermione looked at him.

"Shower. Now." She said. "And do get dressed Ronald."

"Bloody mental." Ron said after Hermione had left.

"Completely."

Harry grabbed the stuff Hermione had given him and went to have a shower. The water was only lukewarm, obviously Seamus had decided to have a shower today, that guy used all the hot water. At least the water wasn't freezing like last time Seamus had showered first. Harry wondered why somebody didn't just charm the water to be heated, surely it would be better than risking having cold, grumpy students in the morning.

Trying to be as quick as possible, he towel dried his hair, usually Hermione would charm it dry, but he didn't feel like getting another lecture on getting dressed properly.

Hermione and Ron were waiting in the common room like they'd promised. Hermione smiled and tugged him forward for inspection. She tutted quietly.

"You look exhausted, anyone would think you were up all night." She scolded.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." She patted his arm sympathetically before ushering them out the door.

"We have potions first, then Herbology. Professor Snape only assigned a small bit of reading about the potion we are brewing today, please tell me you read it." Hermione rattled off.

"Yes." Harry said at the same time Ron said, "No."

"Oh, Ron! Snape warned us that we would have to brew this potion purely on what we read in that chapter."

Harry tuned out Hermione's detailed description of the potion as they entered the hall, his mouth was watering at the sight of all those pancakes and eggs and bacon and sausages...

They sat next to Neville and Seamus. Harry instantly started filling his plate, nothing better than a cooked breakfast before potions. He took two slices of toast and placed bacon between them and layered on the tomato sauce. Hermione wrinkled her nose as he scoffed it down, faster than Ron ever could. The Dursleys had been brutal that last holiday, and no matter what Harry tried to tell himself, he was constantly worried that someone would try to take his food.

His uncle had taken a vindictive pleasure in doing just that, starving Harry for days and days and then feeding him a slice of bread, only to snatch it away when Harry was only just starting. Harry shuddered, hopefully he wouldn't have to go home this Christmas, Dumbledore had mentioned it to keep the blood protection as strong as it could possibly be, but it was uncertain at the moment.

"Harry! Slow down, you'll choke yourself." It was not Hermione who had said this, but Ron. _Hypocrite. _

Harry pushed his plate away and glanced at the large clock in the hall.

"We best get to potions, Snape'll kill us if we're even a millisecond late." He said.

His friends nodded and the all stood to go to their first class of the day.

* * *

**AN**

**Thank you for all the reviews. There is a poll on my page for the pairing (Harry x ?) If you do not have an account I have enabled anonymous reviews, so just state that it is a poll vote and it will be counted :)**

**I don't own Harry Potter ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Snape is still the potions master and this fic is set during Harry's sixth year. You know what that means... we need a DADA teacher. Possibilities: **

**A member of the order?  
A previous teacher?  
A ministry worker?  
OC? **

**If you want an OC, I'm absolutely terrible at coming up with one, so we have a problem, unless any of my wonderful readers want to invent a possible teacher? Full credit will go to the person who makes up one of course;)**

* * *

Harry let himself be dragged down to the potions classroom, he could feel the temperature gradually dropping the closer they got. During his first few years at the school he thought Snape made the temperature do this on purpose to make all the students miserable. However, after avidly reading _Potions: Mishaps and Triggers _he found out that some potions were extremely volatile and would explode with the slightest error to do with heating, not only this but if the ingredients were not kept cold then some of their properties could be rendered useless.

As usual the dingy wooden door was wide open, Snape would only close it on the exact second that the lesson was due to start, after the door was shut you would be classed as 'late' and it would be better to return to your bed and hide, as Snape's temper was something that not even a hungarian horntail would risk provoking.

"Come on!" Hermione insisted, tugging on Harry's sleeve till he was seated in his usual place.

_Slam _

"Close one." Ron muttered quietly so that Snape would not hear him.

"If you all did your homework, and I'm assuming you did, as it would be...unwise...of you to turn up to my class unprepared, then you shall be fully aware that today's lesson involves brewing the complex Hiccoughing Solution."

Snape placed a vial containing a strange blue mixture on his desk. Occasionally the contents of the vial would bubble and let out a small hiccup.

"Now, Mr. Finnigan, the five main ingredients, if you will." Snape said, stopping in front of Seamus, who was sitting with Neville and Dean.

"Yes, Sir. The Hiccoughing Solution requires the ingredients Bubotuber Pus, Shrivelfig, Hellebore, Vervain and Lobalug Venom."

With a curt nod from Snape, Seamus slumped into his chair as if he'd just witnessed something awful happen.

"So then, Mr Weasley, you must be aware of a restriction to do with the Lobalug Venom."

Ron nodded trying to remember everything Hermione had told him during breakfast.

"The venom of the Lobalug is...em, used as a defensive mechanism so it is quite...er, dangerous and must be handled with extreme caution."

"Adequate. However, maybe if you actually read what was written in the textbook, like you were told to, you would be aware that if the venom is in contact with human skin for a prolonged amount of time, it will have a corrosive effect. Therefore, I hope you're listening Mr Longbottom, if any of the venom touches your skin, I expect you to immediately wash it off, or else suffer through detention until you leave. Is that clear?"

The whole class, even the Slytherins, knew that no one would be spared from this punishment, and the all replied with the expected; "Yes, Sir."

"Good. Miss Granger, what is ironic about the use of Vervain in this particular potion?"

"Vervain has a longstanding history in the use of herbalism and folk-medicine, even muggles believed in it's healing properties. It's use is ironic as due to the healing properties of the plant, the majority of potions that require its use are medicines or medicinal salves, whereas this potion inflicts an impressive amount of hiccups on the unfortunate drinker." Hermione said, as if she had the textbook open in front of her.

"You may begin."

"That Git!" Ron whispered furiously, "He didn't ask the Slytherins a single question!"

"Calm down Ron, and go your ingredients."

Harry followed Hermione's instructions too, and went to the supply cupboard. He found the ingredients easily, obviously someone unfortunate person had been in detention recently and had been forced to sort the cupboard.

Moving as fast as he could he double checked he had everything and left the cupboard as fast as he could. He hated small spaces and was always reluctant to enter them, he supposed it had grown from his childhood bedroom. That cupboard under the stairs haunted him whenever he was in a small place, he couldn't even shut the curtains on his bed as if he woke through the night, he panicked, thinking that he'd been locked under the stairs by his relatives.

"Hurry up, Harry. Snape will dock points soon." Ron hissed.

Harry carefully set each separate ingredient on the table and began to prepare them exactly as the book said. He made sure to check each instruction twice and tried to follow them to the exact letter.

_Floop_

"What is this, Mr Potter?" Snape said threateningly.

_Flumph _

The brown mass bubbled slowly.

"I don't know, Sir." Harry said forlornly. He had done exactly as the instructions had demanded. It was impossible.

_Pffftsss _

"Well then, Mr Potter, you will make sure you are here for detention at seven o'clock tonight. You will attempt to remake the potion then." Snape said, and with a last distasteful look towards the bubbling mess in Harry's cauldron he waved his wand and vanished the potion.

Once Snape had turned to inspect Pansy Parkinson's cauldron, Ron made a rude gesture at his back causing Hermione to scold him, which turned her attention to Harry.

"Oh, Harry, what happened?" She said.

"I don't know," Harry groaned, "I did exactly what the instructions said."

"Really?" She said sceptically, as she stirred her blue potion.

"Yes." He said, feeling irritated, why hadn't his potion worked like hers had? He had done everything that he was meant to.

"I dunno mate, maybe you heated it wrong?" Ron said.

"It wasn't that, his thermometer indicated the correct temperature when I saw it." Hermione said.

"Did you forget to add an ingredient?"

"No, just forget it, things happen." Harry mumbled.

"Maybe it'll work tonight when you make it in front of Snape." Ron said unconvincingly.

"Sure, and all of a sudden Voldemort's going to drop dead and no one will know who I am." Harry sighed.

Ron thumped him on the back and turned to his green potion.

"Looks like you added too much of the Shrivelfig." Harry murmured.

"How'd you know that?"

Harry panicked internally for a moment before casually shrugging.

"I'm sure Hermione said that too much Shrivelfig causes potions to turn greenish in colour." Harry improvised, thankful that Hermione was too busy stirring her perfect potion to listen to him.

"How do I fix it?" Ron pleaded.

Harry winced guiltily,_ add more Bubotuber Pus, _he thought. He couldn't say that however, nobody could know he was reading up on potions, he'd get horribly teased about it.

"Sorry, mate, I don't have a clue." Ron sighed and nodded.

"I'll ask Hermione, once she's finished the stage she's on."

That was another reason that Harry couldn't let his new knowledge show; Hermione hated being bested in a subject. It was bad enough that Harry was top in Defense, if he suddenly became better at Potions she would take a huge hit to her pride.

The class passed slowly after his potion had failed, but the end of the lesson finally arrived. Ron, with Hermione's help, had managed to fix his potion, sort of, it was still slightly watery, but it was passable.

"You may leave." Snape dismissed.

There was an eager scramble for the door.

"What homework do we have?" Ron asked.

"Snape wants us to write five inches on the effect of temperature on potions and their ingredients." Hermione recited.

Ron groaned, and Harry smiled slightly.

* * *

**AN**

**Poll still up, there were no votes for Luna, that surprised me a little. Haha. Still time to vote though :) Thanks for all the feedback, I love you guys.**

**I don't own Harry Potter :P**

**;)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Potions ingredients range from being very volatile to being safe. Volatile potions ingredients are rendered useless by the slightest of things whereas safer potions ingredients can be subjected to extreme changes in their environment and still retain their magical properties. _

Harry paused and dipped his quill into the ink pot. Then he flipped the page of the textbook in front of him and sighed, there was so much that could be written but the mini essay had to be exactly the length that Snape had instructed otherwise he'd have another detention. He shook his head and tried to focus as best he could.

_Volatile ingredients mostly are kept under cool conditions, usually this is 15 degrees Celsius, this is to slow down their magic fields and stop the potion reacting with the air in the place of storage, packaged ingredients are either airtight or vacuum packed, this lowers the chances of a reaction occurring. _

"Harry, Snape's detention is in ten minutes, you'll have to finish that another time." Ron said, nudging his arm.

"Yeah, ok, one minute." Harry mumbled.

_Despite this trend in ingredients requiring low temperatures, there are exceptions that require high temperatures. These have to be stored in an entirely different place as the heating charm could affect the cool conditions within the place of storage. These ingredients are extremely expensive and are typically used in potions that require a high degree of skill. _

Happy that he'd finished the part about the ingredients and only had the part about the actual potions to do, he left the half-finished scroll on his bed and stood up.

"Good luck." Ron said, from where he was lounging on the window sill.

"Thanks, I'll need it." Harry sighed.

On his way down the potions classroom, Harry wistfully thought about all the time he was wasting when he could be perfecting other potions he had spent his night practicing. Then again, tonight was his night off, he was supposed to get a full nights sleep, for once. The lack of sleep had been catching up with him lately, his eyes had bags under them, his face was a few shades paler than it usually was.

He knocked on the door and opened it, Snape wasn't there. The room was chilly and dark, but Harry entered anyway and sat at one of the desks near the front. Snape wouldn't be too long, he told himself, after all he was only a few minutes early. The room seemed to be getting darker and darker. He couldn't see anything at all.

Harry jolted awake, he'd fallen asleep, he could only hope Snape hadn't seen.

"So kind of you to join me, Potter."

"I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to fall asleep, it was an accident." Harry stammered.

"Never the less, you did fall asleep, you can spend tomorrow evening in detention too, just for that."

"Yes, sir." Harry said looking down.

"Well, what are you waiting for? You have a potion to brew, and I will be watching every single step." The threat was not disguised well, if Harry so much as sliced the wrong way, he'd have even more detentions.

"Yes, sir."

Harry began to prepare the ingredients. He squeezed the juice out of the Shrivelfig and disposed of it, only the skin was required for the Hiccoughing Solution. Once he had only the skin left he pulled out the small - but very sharp knife - and diced the skin into equal sized pieces.

Then he pulled the petals off the Hellebore and crushed them into a paste, most Hellebore were poisonous, so he made sure to be extremely careful, all he needed was for Snape to give him more detentions because he'd ended up in the hospital wing.

After slicing the vervain petals, measuring out the Bubotuber pus and the Lobalug venom, he was ready to start brewing.

Snape watched in silence, the boy used skilled, practiced movements while preparing the ingredients, they were of a standard that even he would accept them to use in any of his potions. He used skill that took potions masters years to accomplish. How could the boy have achieved such skill, when just last year he was almost cutting off his own fingers in the attempts to slice an ingredient.

Harry poured the whole vial of Bubotuber pus into the cauldron and boiled for exactly five minutes, then added the Lobalug venom. Immediately he knew the potion wouldn't end up working, he felt that the venom had been added way too early, despite what the textbook said to do.

_Leave to boil for exactly seven minutes. _

Harry hated this part, it was awkward waiting to complete the next stage of the potion when he had Snape staring at him with disgust. As always Snape didn't offer any help or tell Harry if he was doing anything right.

_Add half the Vervain petals, stir clockwise three times, add the rest of the vervain petals, stir anti-clockwise three times. _

Harry did the steps as carefully as he could, leaving no room for error. Then he added the Hellebore paste and the Shrivelfig skin, stirred for thirty seconds and removed from the heat.

In theory the white liquid was supposed to darken to a blue colour as it cooled. That was the theory at least, and as Harry's earlier attempt at the potion had shown, Harry seemed to be excluded from all theories.

The potion slowly started to get darker.

Harry held his breath, the potion was a dark blue, but it still darkened, until it was a black mess again. Harry let his forehead hit the desk, he no longer cared what Snape said, he was too focused on repeating the steps in his mind. It should have worked, there was no reason for it not to work.

"Well, Potter, I don't know what happened." Snape said slowly, no hostility in his voice for once.

Harry finally looked up and gazed at the gloopy mess.

"As much as it pains me to say this, you executed all the steps perfectly and the potion should have turned out near perfect."

"Really?" Harry asked hopefully.

A nasty urge to almost overtook Snape, he really wanted to wipe that hopeful look off the boy's face and tell him that it was his own fault that the potion failed, but he couldn't. He was too curious, and wanted to find out _why _the potion hadn't worked.

"Really. However, I would like you to fill this phial with that," Snape indicated to the gloopy mess, "and I will inspect it and see if I can find anything wrong. Hopefully, I will know by the time you arrive for your detention tomorrow."

Harry took the phial and scooped some of the mixture into it, it was very thick and viscous. Slowly it slid down the side of the phial and landed with a soft _flump _at the bottom. Once it was almost full he put the stopper on it and handed it to Snape, who labelled it and set it on a shelf behind his desk.

"You may leave," Snape said, "once you have cleaned your cauldron and tidied away any mess you have made."

Harry made quick work of tidying up, and left as soon as possible.

When he arrived back at the common room, Hermione and Ron weren't there. He lay on the sofa to wait for them, but he couldn't help the wave of lethargy that overcame him.

* * *

**AN**

**Thank you for all the reviews so far, I really appreciate them, they honestly inspire me to keep writing.**

**I do not own Harry Potter. **

**Poll still up**


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